In the realm of communications, the expectation is often that we are masters of all forms of expression. However, the reality is more complex and distinctly human. For me, the challenge of speaking my thoughts out loud has always been significant. While my role demands seamless and effective communication, there’s a personal hurdle that is quite frustrating: my brain’s reluctance to cooperate with my mouth in real-time conversations.
I believe that this difficulty partly stems from growing up in an environment where my opinions were often stifled, and my voice felt disregarded. In a setting where articulating one’s thoughts was not welcome, my brain learned to hesitate before syncing with my mouth during real-time conversations.
This disconnect isn’t about knowledge or capability; given some time, I can compose a written piece that accurately reflects my thoughts and intentions. Writing allows me the luxury of time to organize my thoughts, choose my words carefully, and revise until the message is just right. Writing gives me the space to structure my ideas, select the right words, and refine my message until it’s just right. With the introduction of ChatGPT, I now have a new resource to even further improve and convey my written communication pieces more clearly. But when it comes to the immediacy required in verbal exchanges, that’s where my struggle lies. My mind, buzzing with ideas and responses, somehow hits a roadblock when asked to articulate those thoughts on the spot.
There’s an added layer to my communication: the tendency to shut down in conversations. At times, rather than attempting to engage in dialogue, I find myself withdrawing, leading others to mistakenly assume I’m upset or distant. This reaction isn’t borne out of frustration or a lack of interest but is a manifestation of my brain’s struggle to cooperate in the moment. It’s a defense mechanism, one that I’ve been working to understand and address.
It’s a peculiar position to be in, especially when your profession centers around communication. The irony isn’t lost on me. In a world that increasingly values quick, off-the-cuff responses, this challenge can feel like a significant obstacle. Yet, it’s also been a profound learning journey, teaching me the value of patience, preparation, and understanding my own communication style.
Recognizing this challenge—and its roots in my upbringing—has pushed me to develop strategies to bridge the gap between my rapid-fire thoughts and their verbal expression. I’ve learned to lean into the strengths of my written communication, using it as a foundation to build confidence in my spoken words. Preparing key points ahead of time, practicing out loud, and allowing myself to pause and think during conversations have all been invaluable tools.
This journey has also led me to appreciate the diversity of communication styles within the corporate world. We often celebrate the quick thinkers and smooth talkers, but there’s immense value in those who take their time, crafting thoughtful, well-considered responses. It’s a reminder that effective communication isn’t about speed but about connection and understanding.
For those who might share this struggle, know that you’re not alone. Embracing your unique communication style, recognizing your strengths, and working patiently on your challenges can turn perceived weaknesses into unexpected strengths. It’s about finding your voice, even if that voice prefers to express itself in writing before speaking.
In embracing this personal challenge—and understanding its roots—I’ve not only become a better communicator but also a more empathetic colleague. Understanding my own struggles with communication has deepened my appreciation for the diverse ways people express themselves and connect. It’s a journey that continues to teach me about resilience, adaptability, and the power of finding one’s voice, in whatever form that may be.
This article was originally posted on LinkedIn on February 22, 2024